Thoughts

It seems like I'm always thinking. Now more than ever.
Where is my life going?
what am I doing with it?

My life is beautiful , but only a glimpse of what beauty could be.
Something is missing ... something is lost.
Do others see this and just ignore it? I want them to know that there is more ,but I lack the words to describe it.
I lack the words all the time.
Is that part of the misery of this world ? we can never describe fully what we feel?

I'm reading the book "Epic : the story God is telling and the role that is Yours to Play" by John Eldridge.
I just picked it up at the library on a whim. It is helping me to see the big picture The big story .
It has helped me see how so many of the Epic stories have the same ingredients as God's big story. Eternal love, The entrance of evil, The battle for the heart, The kingdom restored.

The book I finished reading before this was " God's guidance A slow and Certain light" by Elizabeth Elliot.
Elliot is always so encouraging to me , so real. This book deserves to be in everybody's library. Only five chapters long it is simple but true.
And reminds us of who our God is and that he cares for us ,and wants to guide us . He knows what is best for us .
I know this but it is so hard to remember (especially when it doesn't seem like he's guiding me at all!)

So the subject of these books relates to what I've been thinking about lately.
My future path. What does it look like? should I go to the left or the right?
What is my next step? I feel so blind sometimes , like a rat in a labratory maze and God is looking down and waiting for me to just make a move ! any move! .......what move.

Our Father ( creator of the universe.)
Who art in heaven (Who sees above the maze)
Hallowed be thy name( May your name be adored)
Thy kingdom come( Not my kingdom, God's rule and right ordering of all that's wrong)
On earth as it is in heaven ( My will undone, to pray for my life to be a living sacrifice.)
Give us this day our daily bread (We could not draw a breath without him.)
Forgive our trespasses ( Restart us anew)
As we forgive those who trespass against us (Let us forgive as he forgave us.)
Lead us not into temptation ( No ideas of our heroic strength)
Deliver us from evil ( deliver me from my own evil tendencies, not taken out of the evil ,but kept from it.)
Amen.